Thursday, August 18, 2011
I tried to shoot this scene on the beach but there were too many forces working against me. We came back to the studio with half the time and got this image. I don’t feel we nailed it but I do think we got close to something. I was aiming for an image with less contrast and the shadows are pretty deep. But we were rushing trying to get something to build off from.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
This is Marley one of my current subjects. He has a skin disease and all those little bumps are pimples or black heads. He says working with me is helping him come out from hiding. I have been exploring the secrecy of mask we wear as individuals. Taking classes at the college I was extremely guarded and afraid to share private information about my life. I thought my past would victimize me and I would be judged unfairly. Alanis Morissette said this and has sung about it. I always thought wow she must be around really cool people because there is no way I can be like this in a public setting. But I realize I was just making excuses. Photography has lent me more confidence to be transparent and be more open, there is a lot of energy spent in hiding and I’m working with imagery that explore those feelings and ideas.
Friday, August 12, 2011
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Sunday, August 7, 2011
I’m trying out a more natural look with my urban landscapes. I’m still a fan of HDR and I still LOVE my blur filters but Since February I have done two solo shows, five group shows and three lectures. When people come up to me and talk to me they always compliment my compositions. No one has ever came up to me and said, “I really like how you are using the blur filter to express yourself.” I think the pressure from the first solo show made me insecure with my compositions and I brought out all the tricks and whistles to hide behind. Doesn’t mean I have completely thrown them away but just trying something new on to see if it fits.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
One of my instructors keeps asking me why I keep shooting abandon buildings. What was the reason behind it? I knew I was attracted to them but I didn’t have a verbal answer. And at that time I told him it was my gut instinct to shoot them, but there is no poetry in that statement. When I’m doing an art show and a person is asking me why I shot an image, they don’t want to hear “because I wanted to” Then recently a good friend and I were talking about my past relationships and he said, “You have abandonment issues” I was shocked at the truth and I had to think about it. My friend was dead on.
My father died when I was eight months, my mother had given me away to my grandmother when I was four. My grandmother kicked me out when I was sixteen. Growing up it was important to me not to be a victim of these situations and I ignored any damage these situations might have caused me.
I don’t think it’s the whole answer to why I shoot buildings but I think I’m getting closer to the truth about me and the art I create.
Friday, August 5, 2011
It has always been important to me to have older gay friends. I was the first gay in my family I often felt like I was the only gay. As a teen I took some musical theater classes and met some older gays who really gave me perspective. Any young person who has grandparents or older friends knows how they love to talk about what it was like in their day. But those conversations helped me remove my own “gay” out of the isolation box and into the universal and I’m thankful for that.